“Go to bed,” I say counting down the hours, minutes, the steady seconds until my mind is my own once again.
No sticky fingers prying their way into my thoughts, eliciting every emotion, no tears caused by my seemingly continuous stream of “no.”
Just me, wrapped in reflection at the end of a long and monotonous day.
I used to be my own person before you, ya know.
I was spontaneous and reckless and my dreams were my own.
But the years have worn me down.
My own standards have worn me down.
Because truth is, I am learning there is a place for both women whom I have built inside my mind.
The one with dreams and the one who loves you most.
And instead of seperating them any further I want to find a world where they may co-exist.
I want things to be different for you and for yours.
When you are holding your own babies one day, waiting (im)patiently for bedtime I hope you remember just how full you made our days, just how full you made our hearts, and above all else I hope you always remember just how much we love you.