I really wish there was a way to really “get” something without having to live through it. Major weight loss was one of those things. I wish someone could have said, “You will be the same person regardless of what the scale says” and I really wish I could have believed it. All in all I am proud of how far I have come on the inside and out but it was a tough journey along the way. It was a tough journey getting to my highest weight and an equally tough journey coming back down… Amazingly enough very little had to do with the scale.
I always thought I was miserable because of how I looked when in reality I was miserable over things I could not change. When I realized what I was responsible for I was able to start loosening my grip on the things I did have control over. I had control over what I put into my body, what I surrounded myself with, and what I chose to believe. I could choose to learn, grow, let go, and live life with purpose or I could be content with wallowing in my own misery for the rest of my days. It is really that simple. How we live is a choice. What we go through, what we experience, how many times we get pushed down, none of that is in our control but we do have the choice to move forward and do things differently.
If I could do it all over again I wish I could tell my younger self about mercy and grace. That on the good days I was loved just as much as my bad and on the days where I messed up more than I thought humanly possible, I was still fully seen, loved, and accepted, no matter what. This goes for you too. You are fully loved, lacking nothing, today, yesterday, and forever more. Nothing you have done, been through, or looked like, will ever define who you are because of whose you are. You are loved, friend. Take that first step today and walk out in freedom.