I went straight from being graduating high school to being a stay at home mom in a matter of months and a part of me felt lost in the process. Being a stay at home mom is thankless, the hours are long, and it really can be daunting at times.
My whole life I was in the house with a woman who got her masters at age 40. I had heard my entire life, “Whatever you do, get your education.” But instead of taking that as my goal I took it as my life’s creed instead of looking at who God already said I was and what He wanted me to do in the moment. Dreams do not happen overnight and I seemed to think having a degree and a career was the only way I would add any value to my family. I have spent the past years of my life secretly resenting my family. My house felt like some sort of prison that seemed to house all of my disintegrating dreams. I was mad at God. Mad he created me to be a woman and mad he created me for this life. It felt so unfulfilling and so exhausting that I really did not want to do it anymore.
Is my story resonating with you yet? Because if so, don’t make the same mistakes I did and fix your eyes now. I was missing the bigger picture. I was missing what he placed right in front of my face all along. I have a family. It is my job to steward what God gave me first before jumping headfirst into something that is not ready to be jumped into.
Lately God has been building foundations in my family’s lives and that means waiting on school, careers, and 10,000 oppurtunities until the foundations of the family are laid first. If we build a house on sandy soil it will crumble everytime. For me this meant taking a break from outside commitments unless God specifically said, “This is where you need to be.” I had to limit serving on church so I could be home more. I had to say no to oppurtunities because I simply could not schedule it in, and I had to give myself grace when I said no. We can not be all the things for all the people. We are not the savior, our job is to point others back to him, and we will not do that if we are living completely depleted. God wants us whole.
There will always be seasons with full schedules but sometimes God is inviting us into the ability to fully rest before throwing us into the deep end. He equips us with the water wings needed when we do not know how to swim, he teaches us to walk on the water so we are not lost and drowning once we get there. We must be willing to submit to his correction in the process.
Are you tired? Worn out? Angry? Irritable?
These are very real emotions with a very real solution. What have you picked up that you need to lay back down? Do you need to lay down? TAKE A NAP. GET SOME SLEEP. Take care of YOU! Because if not, you can not expect to take care of anyone else. Most of the time if we find ourselves gasping for air we have jumped prematurely. When God has truly invited into a season, our families and core responsibilities will not suffer. Now, that does not mean it will be easy. It will take intentional time management and rearranging to organize resources to better live out what God is leading into but we will not self-destruct in the process.
God is inviting us into a new way of life that changes and expands everything we once knew. He wants to renew marriages, transform our relationships with our children, and overwhelm our homes with a peace and wisdom that only He can release, but we HAVE to be willing to lay down what he is inviting us to lie down. Even if it feels like it does not make sense, if his way will always come with provision!
I have really been stuck on John 10:10. Partly because it is the theme for MOPS this year but also because it is such a topic God has been trying to drill in my head for quite some time.
The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.
Jesus came to give us abundant life and if we are not experiencing that something in our thinking needs to shift. Our minds need constant renewing and our souls need the constant washing of the blood of Jesus Christ. There is a time and a season for everything, but we have to ask for the discernment of that season.
Is it time to sow more seed or is it time to let the soil rest? Soil can be depleted after season and season of use. Farmers literally have to plant crops that yield no profit to replenish the soil once again…or the soil turns to dust. Uncover your spiritual seeds today, let God expose the fruits of the spirit in your life, use them, and live life to the full.