My guilty pleasure is pop punk from the early 2000s. Even though I am no longer mad at my father, wear less eyeliner, and blare Kidz Bop 99% of the time, I still find myself bored with conformity. I come from a very unconventional family. My parents are deadheads that still follow the Grateful Dead around. I was raised by my grandmother who went back to school at 30, got her masters at 40, and adopted me at 50. Eric and I found out we were going to be parents at 17 and despite our relationship having many ups and downs, we are still together. I say all of that to say this, that being normal is for the birds.
Growing up, I always yearned for something regular, a regular name that I did not have to spell when I introduced myself, parents that I lived with, a ring on my finger. I wanted that white picket fence reality, completely disregarding the fact that there are no white picket fences found anywhere in the Word of God.
Little baby Jesus was not lying in a Pottery Barn crib. Baby Jesus was in a manger. Looking all yuck, crying. I picture hay stuck all to his gross little vernix covered baby body. I mean Jesus was a human baby. He came out just as nasty as the rest of us. Mary had her baby IN A STABLE. There was nothing normal or sterile about the entire Christmas situation and this is completely disregarding the fact that Mary was a VIRGIN. So let’s just remember God is weird in how he does things.
God is unconventional. He is all up in the mess and all up in the nitty gritty details that are seemingly broken and pointless at the same time. For a long time I would constantly strive to be the perfect wife and perfect mother only to be let down by my own expectations. We tend to work for the life we think we want instead of looking at the life we already have. We work harder instead of sitting still longer. We hustle hard instead of healing hard and end up being hardly anything along the way.
We have to look at the whole picture. We have to look at the good along with the bad and really ask God where our focus needs to be. We have to start asking the hard questions. Where were you when this happened, Lord? How can you make this right? How can I possibly forgive the person you want me to forgive? We have to listen to his response and do what he is telling us to do. Then confirm what we are hearing in His Word, and we have to trust that what he says is true.
In my own life I have to trust that the Creator of the universe can take my life that was once so broken and backwards and flip it. And I have to trust he will do it for my loved ones too. We find God in the questioning. He does not mind the questions. I really think he encourages it. He wants to hear from us and talk with us. In the questioning lies faith. For most of my Christian walk I have looked at my questioning like doubt when in reality it gave God an open door to really show up in my life like never before.
God is completely unconventional. Even in the ways we think we know Him, he is still infinitely more. He works outside of the box and outside of the walls we create. The walls of the church, the walls of our homes, the walls of our minds, and thinking. Rules do not apply to him. No matter how much we may try to make me conform to our own constructs…he is omnipresent and omnipotent. He reigns supreme over everything and everybody. Nothing can stand in the way of what he has breathed life into. He has the power to overcome anything you are walking in today, yesterday, and forever more. He is anywhere and everywhere, and he is just waiting for the invitation to show you. Have heart, ask questions, and always always keep the faith.