Advice From a Former “Teen Mom”

Mom shaming is very real. The moment you announce your pregnancy people judge, add being young and unmarried and the judgement flows in from all sides. People will judge everything and it has nothing to do with them. The big difference between mothers who find out they are pregnant at 17 versus finding out at 37 is life experience. At 17 we haven’t discovered the vital part about who we are yet and we have not grown up enough to trust other women. We are used to the catty attitudes of high school girls not the presence of women working from a place of power. I truly believe that women were created with a force that can be unstoppable if we utilize it. It took me forever to realize this. Jesus knew it. It is easy to forget too. Our society has an independent mindset. That in itself is not a bad thing, but not asking for help, advice, or tearing eachother down is. Teenagers haven’t had a chance to develop much outside of themselves yet and having a baby does not change that. You have to learn the way anyone else does. It is way easier to learn to put your baby first than it is to drop all of your knowledge about people that you have acquired over the years. You do not have the life experience with yourself let alone others to make those realizations yet. What is important is that we show that to each other regardless if we know it or not. That is the best practice. Just doing it. I spent most of my life a bitter and I gossiped constantly. I was unhappy with my life, how I was turning out, how everyone else was changing, except me. I was angry at myself and could not handle people being happier than me.

I was ugly for a long time.

There are still parts that are ugly.

But, I am working on it.

I am growing to accept the ugliness of whom I once was because that girl is gone. There is nothing more uncomfortable than when Jesus checks you, but I am thankful he does. We need to show our fellow sisters grace just like Jesus does. We need to show them biblical correction. If Jenny is partying every night, invite her over. Talk to her about it out of a place of love. Most of all keep it between the two of you. Bam. Done. Be there for eachother. Offer help. Love on eachother. These sisters are who you can lean on. THEY GET YOU. It is not a competition but a community. Beat the statistics together. Grow strong, Jesus loving children that walk out in purpose and change the world. Show them that life happens but so do miracles.

“This is my command: Love each other.”

‭‭John‬ ‭15:17

LOVE. SHOW GRACE. PEACEFULLY CORRECT. BE THERE FOR EACHOTHER. Community is one of the biggest blessings God has given us. Utilize that gift. We are stronger in numbers and frankly, motherhood is hard enough as it is. When we band together we lighten the load. We can learn from each other rather than become judgemental. We can rejoice in our accomplishments rather than become jealous.Our journeys are all different. I am positive God has something perfectly planned just for you. You and your story were perfectly curated by the God of all things, the King of all Kings, Lord of all Lords, CREATOR OF ALL THINGS GOOD. Lean in to your Father today. Thank him for the children he has entrusted you with, the love he will continually pour out, and His constant peace he will bless you with all the days of your life. You are loved, mama. Your children are loved and He will be with you every step of the way. Reach out and encourage someone who needs it. We can all use the reminder of His perfect love.

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