My little family and I are entering a new season of life. We are currently looking into buying our first home. We have been working up to this point financially and emotionally since our oldest was first born. As teenage parents we had huge setbacks financially. We had nothing for a very long time but it has been okay. We are so lucky to have the families we do. My mother in law and my grandparents have done everything to make sure we could get on our feet with as much preparation, love, and as little struggle as possible. They have clothed us, our children, fed us, fed our children, always made sure we had a roof over our heads, and above all else never gave up on us. We owe them everything.
If you know me and know my testimony, I am huge on the fact that God places us right where we are supposed to be. I found a house that I was in love with. Completely, totally, utterly in love with. Awesome price, cute beyond reason, great location, everything. I prayed in front of this house for a week straight and if we did not stop my oldest would say “We did not pray at the house.” So away we went. I contacted the realtor yesterday who told me she had a few things to check on and she would give me a call back.
During my wait I realized something. My focus has turned from focusing on God’s provision and listening to His plan to a very mitigated “me” plan only focused on acquiring this house. The realtor let me know later that the house in already under contract. There was immediate peace in that new knowledge. That house is not ours, but I have prayed for the new owners and I am excited for them even if I do not know them. It was not meant for us and that is okay. I know He will place us in the perfect home, at the perfect time, all the while surrounding us with the perfect people. Deuteronomy 31:8, says “Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the Lord will personally go ahead of you. He will be with you; he will never fail or abandon you.” That gives new life to my (very) exhausted soul. I have felt abandoned and let down a lot in my life by people I love. One thing that I am certain of is that God has seen those moments and protected me from things I could not see. He went before me and where I am now is proof of that. I have faith that if He can lead an entire race of people out of slavery and into the Promise Land he can definitely point me in the direction of our very own.
Trusting the process and provision of God is hard. Some days I am awesome at it, other days not so much, thankfully I am loved and forgiven either way.